Starry, Starry Night
Over the past 12 weeks, I have been up. I have been feeling sorry for myself feeling so sleep-deprived while the rest of the world sleeps. As I looked out at my neighbors' home at 3 am in the morning, I will often see the neighbors lights are off. I think to myself, "It must be nice being able to sleep through the night..." I mutter to myself.
And after my in-laws left from visiting their grandson, my husband and I awoke one night with our son. It happened to coincide with the recent meteor shower. It was this perfect, beautiful, clear night. We woke up with our son and after we put him back to sleep, we crept outside into our backyard on to our deck after spraying ourselves with Off, pulled up two lawn chairs and looked into the sky hoping to catch one of the meteors as it projected across the sky. After a few moments, we saw one. It was hard to describe this 2 am moment-both of us were tired, but yet in this very moment it felt so intimate and beautiful-as if we were experiencing this moment together because of our son.
That moment was probably about a month ago and my son is still not sleeping through the night. Some days when I am extremely tired, I continue to feel sorry for myself as I continue to get up with the baby for his 2 and 3 feedings in the middle of the night. I am trying to remember that this time is going to be very brief that he will continue to not sleep through the night. He will only be making this baby coos and gurgles for a short period. He will only be this little once. I continue to look out my window in the middle of the night and watch the neighbors dark homes knowing that they are most likely sleeping soundly. And then I remember that starry, starry night.
And after my in-laws left from visiting their grandson, my husband and I awoke one night with our son. It happened to coincide with the recent meteor shower. It was this perfect, beautiful, clear night. We woke up with our son and after we put him back to sleep, we crept outside into our backyard on to our deck after spraying ourselves with Off, pulled up two lawn chairs and looked into the sky hoping to catch one of the meteors as it projected across the sky. After a few moments, we saw one. It was hard to describe this 2 am moment-both of us were tired, but yet in this very moment it felt so intimate and beautiful-as if we were experiencing this moment together because of our son.
That moment was probably about a month ago and my son is still not sleeping through the night. Some days when I am extremely tired, I continue to feel sorry for myself as I continue to get up with the baby for his 2 and 3 feedings in the middle of the night. I am trying to remember that this time is going to be very brief that he will continue to not sleep through the night. He will only be making this baby coos and gurgles for a short period. He will only be this little once. I continue to look out my window in the middle of the night and watch the neighbors dark homes knowing that they are most likely sleeping soundly. And then I remember that starry, starry night.
posted by Princess at 8:36 PM
1 Comments:
This one gave me goose bumps. All the more poignant as you posted it on my son's birthday and I've been thinking back to all those fleeting moments that began 23 years ago.
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