False Alarms
Here I am two days away from my due date. Late this afternoon I thought that I had the beginnings of labor-contractions or so I thought. Probably about a half hour ago I figured out that I am not in labor (or so I think).
This waiting is absolute torture, especially for a first-time mom and especially for someone who is so ungodly uncomfortable. I can say without a doubt that I am ready for whatever is about to be thrown my way in terms of labor. It has got to be easier than this waiting and wondering if this tightness I am feeling is the start of labor...the pain in my pelvic area...is this a contraction? The fact that my hands are so numb from Carpal Tunnel that I couldn't even open the cap for the bottle that I needed to pee in last week for my weekly doctor's appointment to check my urine. I have had enough.
Ironically enough, I went to the public library today to check out a book and the one that caught my eye was one that someone must have set aside called, "The Bad Mother's Handbook." I am hoping to do some reading while in the hospital-either during the recuperation period or during the actual labor. Not sure that there's ever been a woman about to give birth that would read a book called "The Bad Mother's Handbook." The irony of all ironies.
Don't get me wrong-there's parts of me wondering when will it be the last time that I feel my little one kicking? There are times when I won't feel him moving around and then I'll wonder if he's okay and rub my belly and usually within a few minutes, I'll feel a jab as if to say, "I'm okay mom, don't worry about me." I remember when I would first feel him kick that it would cause me to laugh...delighted in the fact that I could feel his movement. I still recall the first time I heard his heartbeat. These are all memories that will forever be a part of this pregnancy.
I am ready to take on the next challenges-the labor, the post-partum, the roller coaster of being a new parent, the crying, the diaper changes, the staying up all night, and just the waves of emotions I'm sure to be feeling in the next few weeks. I have come full circle-first being so afraid of how my life was about to change and the fears of pregnancy and labor pains and now I feel that I am ready for this next stage two days before my due date.
This waiting is absolute torture, especially for a first-time mom and especially for someone who is so ungodly uncomfortable. I can say without a doubt that I am ready for whatever is about to be thrown my way in terms of labor. It has got to be easier than this waiting and wondering if this tightness I am feeling is the start of labor...the pain in my pelvic area...is this a contraction? The fact that my hands are so numb from Carpal Tunnel that I couldn't even open the cap for the bottle that I needed to pee in last week for my weekly doctor's appointment to check my urine. I have had enough.
Ironically enough, I went to the public library today to check out a book and the one that caught my eye was one that someone must have set aside called, "The Bad Mother's Handbook." I am hoping to do some reading while in the hospital-either during the recuperation period or during the actual labor. Not sure that there's ever been a woman about to give birth that would read a book called "The Bad Mother's Handbook." The irony of all ironies.
Don't get me wrong-there's parts of me wondering when will it be the last time that I feel my little one kicking? There are times when I won't feel him moving around and then I'll wonder if he's okay and rub my belly and usually within a few minutes, I'll feel a jab as if to say, "I'm okay mom, don't worry about me." I remember when I would first feel him kick that it would cause me to laugh...delighted in the fact that I could feel his movement. I still recall the first time I heard his heartbeat. These are all memories that will forever be a part of this pregnancy.
I am ready to take on the next challenges-the labor, the post-partum, the roller coaster of being a new parent, the crying, the diaper changes, the staying up all night, and just the waves of emotions I'm sure to be feeling in the next few weeks. I have come full circle-first being so afraid of how my life was about to change and the fears of pregnancy and labor pains and now I feel that I am ready for this next stage two days before my due date.
posted by Princess at 8:14 PM
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