Too Strict or Not Strict Enough?

I've always been an observer of sorts. I know by nature and especially around strangers I am painfully shy-almost to the point that I stick out by being too quiet. I was hoping upon moving that I could somehow change this aspect of my personal and somehow be converted into a super, outgoing, bubbly...I dunno, but not one so painfully shy and aware of how socially awkward I can be.

This characteristic has definitely allowed me to really observe other parents when they are out and about with their children. Don't get me wrong, I have always observed parents and their children. I would often listen to them screaming at the mall and wonder if I was really prepared for parenting. It turns out, you're never really ready, but you learn as you go along.

I spend a lot of time observing neighbors, neighborhood children, at the playground and in and around our homes. The one thing which has truly emerged from my observation is a definitive male, head of household role for father. The two fathers I see most often (besides my husband) definitely show their alpha male side and it seems that the children respond to this. Sometimes I feel that males I see are being too strict with their stern voices, but I wonder if perhaps our household isn't strict enough.

I think of our own little household and often times when I come home from running an errand, I'm told when my son starts to whine and act up that he was perfectly fine until the minute I walked in the door. Somehow little ones know that with mommies they can get away with a lot more than they can with their daddies. And I wonder how so many moms without the dads in their lives can handle both roles since so many children are being raised without fathers.

It makes me question whether or not I need to be more of a disciplinarian. I know that little ones need boundaries. I don't want to raise a spoiled child but one that is independent and knows between right and wrong. These are some of my thoughts these days.