No chance meetings

Today has been a strange sort of a day. It's been one of those up and down kind of days. Part of the dreariness stems from the fact that it's raining and has been for most of the day. I also woke up tired, fell asleep probably around midnight, woke up to go to the bathroom, woke up at 4:30, drifted back to sleep, and then woke up again, drifted back to sleep and woke up when I heard my husband wake up. I've been tired so that adds to the fact that I feel a little bit on the grumpy side.

It all started this morning when I took my son downstairs while my husband carried down the laundry. I placed my son in his walker and went to boil some water for hot tea. My husband looks at the ground and says, "Where did that water come from?" I looked at him blankly-he's asking a question of a woman who has gotten 4 to 5 hours of sleep a question. He says, "Nathan peed on the floor." I'm looking at him like he's lost his mind. Nathan is wearing a onesie that says, "Rebel in Training" and it's in this ugly army blue print that Nathan received as a gift. So I said, "Well, did you change his diaper this morning? Did you remember to put a diaper on?" And of course my husband is running late for work and he has this nose that can smell anything (literally when I try to sneak a piece of chocolate my husband will walk into the room and ask me who is eating chocolate) and he puts his nose to the ground and says, "It smells like pee. Of course I remembered to put a diaper on him!" So we are off to a wonderful start as he scrambles to get a towel, put soap on it and clean up the spot where he claims Nathan has had an accident. I argued with him as I carried my son claiming that his onesie is not wet at all and his leg is not wet at all and he did not in fact pee on the floor.

I'm hoping that Nathan will take a nap because I've signed him up for library story time for the first time. He does finally go down for his morning nap and woke up in time for me to feed him a bottle and basically race out the door after I changed him into a different outfit. And I'm also excited because he has pooped in the morning so I don't have to worry about him pooping in public (it's amazing the things that you wish for as a mother) at the library.

It's been this kind of a strange day where Nathan has been fussy at times, and I'm tired and it's dreary out and I'm possibly crabby because my husband has school again tonight so I know that it'll be a long day for me. Then I read this mom's post on a mom message board saying that she lost her baby only two days ago after trying to get pregnant for 7 years because she went into labor early and the baby was only 18 weeks along. I felt so badly for this poor woman and felt so selfish for being grumpy about my lack of sleep, the house being a mess, not having had a date night with my husband in months, the dreary weather outside, the high gas prices, and the list goes on and on.

Not long ago I was with Nathan upstairs and I literally had something that startled me. A beautiful yellow bird outside our window looked like it was inside our house and startled me as I walked by this window. I kept saying to Nathan, "Look at the birdie Nathan!" and pointed my finger and he would look at me, look towards where I was pointing. I am thinking the bird wanted to escape the rain and found a little spot on a window sill. For whatever reason, the bird crossed my path today and luckily, I had enough time to get the digital camera and take a picture of him/her before the bird flew away.

I started thinking about many things and how I truly don't believe in chance meetings. I am a person who believes in fate and things happening for a reason. I have a good mom friend in town who shall remain nameless (she reads my blog so she knows who she is) and for some reason she and I met last summer shortly after our babies were born. She was someone that I so immediately connected with and felt comfortable around-I almost feel like higher forces were willing us to meet. I feel that way about so many of my dear friends who are afar. Many of my good friends were former co-workers and incidentally, my first job out of college at a manufacturing plant in Human Resources was almost not my first job. I had gotten a job offer and accepted a different job offer when I got a call for an interview and when I explained to the HR Manager who later became my boss that I already had another offer, he called me immediately to offer me the job after my interview. The job paid 50 cents more an hour back in 1997 without a 50 mile roundtrip commute, so that's the job I ended up taking! I ended up meeting wonderful friends who are now my blog readers and also shall remain nameless. They also know who they are. And my dear best friend I became friends with in college after I decided to move back home and go to a local college is another story of fate bringing people together. I also have wonderful friends from my last job who I miss terribly but I also believe fate brought me to that job and to them when we moved back home where I grew up. I have a friend who has been a friend since kindergarten and she and I exchange emails almost on a weekly basis. I think it's amazing after almost three decades that she is still in my life, but I'm glad that she is. I don't have a lot of friends, but the few friends I have are good friends who truly know who I am as a person.

My husband and I also have one of those truly remarkable how we met stories. Since the only people who read my blog are my friends, the story is already known. Normally he calls me on his way to school but today he didn't. I found it strange that he didn't call around 4 something. I was in our bedroom and thought that I heard the phone ringing and I had forgotten to turn the ringer back on after Nathan took his morning nap. I had grabbed the phone and was looking at the caller ID to see if I had missed his call when the phone started ringing and it was my husband calling from school checking in to see how I was doing. Sometimes it is so eerie to me how well he knows me and sometimes reads my mind. I feel we are so cosmically connected at times. From our wonderful relationship, we now have a son and I can't even begin to describe in words my thoughts Nathan being here on this earth.

In closing, I know that we as humans go through so many good times and bad times. I have to believe that things do happen for a reason. There are no chance circumstances and no chance meetings. That's what a little birdie told me today.

p.s. I just re-read my blog and there are so many run on sentences and paragraphs which are disconnected. I apologize. This is how my mind thinks.