Crossroads
Today I am tired. I put in a long day at work and did not sleep well. I have a lot on my mind with this upcoming move. Even though I know that we have a lot of work ahead for us next week with the move, I will be happy to get settled in our house and be able to find all of my things again. Yet I feel compelled to update my blog daily if I can. I really like this new blog. I guess it makes me feel significant in the world somehow, even if no one has read even one entry or is posting any comments.
I am at a crossroads. This is a point in my life where so many different things can happen-I can start a family, I can go back to school, and this is why at this very moment, I feel so lost. It is a strange feeling not knowing what is going to happen next, knowing that I am very lucky to have such a supportive husband and knowing that I have the opportunity to just take my time until I decide what is going to happen next. And maybe it won't be a decision that I'll make....it could just be something that just happens. It just seems that right now is a very significant time in my life where choosing one path over another path can shape the rest of my life. I can recall certain life-changing moments when at the moment, I didn't even realize the significance of what the event would mean on the rest of my life.
It's funny...I do reflect and think about my decision to leave Bloomington after a semester and come back to South Bend...and I think about all of the people that wouldn't be in my life had I never made that decision. I wouldn't have become friends with Barb, my sister wouldn't have met her husband, and somehow I may have never met Carl. Where would I be right now if I had chosen to stay in Bloomington? Who would my friends be and who would have been my husband and what would my sister be doing? There are many other people not even mentioned in this blog that have had a deep impact on my life who have become my friends (you know who you are), and if I would have stayed in Bloomington or gone on to live in a bigger city-who knows if I would have ever met them. I still recall this poem that my senior high school teacher made us read. "I am a part of all that I have met." Again, this goes back to the thinking of how things work out. I am just at this truly unique point in my life and feeling a little lost, but looking forward to taking the time to enjoy the adventure that lies ahead for me.
I am at a crossroads. This is a point in my life where so many different things can happen-I can start a family, I can go back to school, and this is why at this very moment, I feel so lost. It is a strange feeling not knowing what is going to happen next, knowing that I am very lucky to have such a supportive husband and knowing that I have the opportunity to just take my time until I decide what is going to happen next. And maybe it won't be a decision that I'll make....it could just be something that just happens. It just seems that right now is a very significant time in my life where choosing one path over another path can shape the rest of my life. I can recall certain life-changing moments when at the moment, I didn't even realize the significance of what the event would mean on the rest of my life.
It's funny...I do reflect and think about my decision to leave Bloomington after a semester and come back to South Bend...and I think about all of the people that wouldn't be in my life had I never made that decision. I wouldn't have become friends with Barb, my sister wouldn't have met her husband, and somehow I may have never met Carl. Where would I be right now if I had chosen to stay in Bloomington? Who would my friends be and who would have been my husband and what would my sister be doing? There are many other people not even mentioned in this blog that have had a deep impact on my life who have become my friends (you know who you are), and if I would have stayed in Bloomington or gone on to live in a bigger city-who knows if I would have ever met them. I still recall this poem that my senior high school teacher made us read. "I am a part of all that I have met." Again, this goes back to the thinking of how things work out. I am just at this truly unique point in my life and feeling a little lost, but looking forward to taking the time to enjoy the adventure that lies ahead for me.
posted by Princess at 7:24 PM
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